Over the past year, my focus has been learning to shed and shine: letting go of the old patterns and ways of being that no longer serve me and allowing my true self to emerge and be seen. However, lately something is missing, shedding and shining isn’t enough, and I’m yearning for more. I’m ready to soar! And while I don’t know how yet, I’m repeatedly being shown how it’s done. For example, this evening sitting on the beach I watched a heron and then an eagle spread their wings and fly, and I’m frequently noticing birds everywhere. I’m in apprentice mode and I’m preparing to take flight.
Interestingly, last week, while I was in Maui on a surf retreat for cancer survivors with an incredible organization Athletes for Cancer, I adorned the power name “hawk.” While in California earlier this spring I was frequented by a pair of hawks and thus felt it fitting to try on the name. Upon further investigation, I’ve also learned that hawks are a sign of rebirth and carry messages to free oneself from limiting thoughts and beliefs and see the possibilities to survive and flourish. Apparently the hawk is helping me to soar!
Adoring the name hawk I tentatively stepped into the ocean to learn how to surf. Initially, I felt tense and uneasy, yet, as I laid on my board and listened to the heartbeat of the ocean and felt the energy of the waves, a sense of calm came over me; I was ready to take flight. As my instructor pushed me into my first wave and shouted for me to stand, I stood, albeit ungracefully, and spread my wings. I felt sheer joy and exhilaration as I surfed that first moment and couldn’t wait to catch my next wave.
Over the course of the week, I gained confidence in myself and was eventually catching literal waves on my own. I also realized my capacity to surf the metaphorical waves of life. And although I don’t catch every wave, and fall frequently and sometimes hard, I continue to try. In doing so, I am choosing how I want to ride the waves, which ones I want to commit to, and exploring how I can soar. I’m putting my faith in the possibilities that await and I am learning to trust myself and my ability to chose how I want to navigate both life and cancer. In doing so, I’m learning to soar, wave after wave.
Thank you to my Camp Koru Ohana for this life changing experience! Aloha!