Struggle and I are good friends. In fact I can’t remember a time when she wasn’t in my life. I know how to work with struggle and navigate her complexities. Being with her feels comfortable (perhaps too much so) and it’s difficult to imagine my life without struggle in it.
Yet over the last year I’ve come to realize that I’m done with struggle for now; I want my time with him to end. I’m tired of feeling uneasy, drained, and defeated. I want something different (although the thought of saying goodbye is somewhat terrifying). I want to know how the inverse of struggle looks and feels – what is its texture, its essence?
As such, I’m venturing into unknown territory and I’m committing to joy and ease this summer. This doesn’t mean that I want to avoid everything that feels uncomfortable or unknown, rather it means I’m choosing to listen to how I feel in situations (e.g. am I feeling tensed or relaxed, drained or fulfilled?), and leaning into what feels intuitively “right”, “true” and joyful. I’m intentionally embracing joy and ease.
In making this commitment, I realize bumps and challenges are likely – it’s difficult to change old patterns and behaviours. I also realize one cannot live life with ease always – struggles will likely appear from time to time – yet for the next few months I want to try. I want to reset/reprogram my relationship with struggle to move forward more gracefully and authentically in my life. This summer I’m choosing to open up to the possibility of joy and ease. Ready… set… go!!!
Note: when I use the term struggle in this post it does not represent a particular person, place, or experience; rather it is the confluence and multiplicity of a variety of factors. As such, I have interchangeably used the pronouns he, she, and it in relation to struggle.