Disarmed and ready

IMG_20141127_210355Monday – my first day of chemo – is rapidly approaching, and I am nearly ready (or as ready as I will ever be). My hair is cut, I’m making my way through the to-do list (e.g. cleaning, stocking the fridge, taxes etc.), I’ve tattooed a deer on my left forearm to remind me of my strength, and most importantly I have an INCREDIBLE network of friends and family alongside. I’m nearly ready… or at least prepared.

IMG_20141127_190508Yet, as I take this next step into the unknown, I feel uncomfortable and uneasy about “fighting” or “beating” cancer. This cancer – these abnormally dividing cells – are part of me, and I do not want to be at battle with myself. I’ve spent too many years beating myself up, and I want it to stop. Instead, I want to accept and embrace all of the parts of myself, including the cancer that grows inside me.

And so, as I take this next step forward, I’m choosing to put down my weapons and disarm.  Instead, I am bringing gifts of love, kindness, and acceptance to befriend my cancer. I realize this approach may be difficult at times, yet I need and want to try. In fact, I’m not prepared to walk this stage of the journey any other way.

I love you!



  1. Kailee

    You are one brave women!! I have been thinking about you and will continue to send you strength on this part of your adventure !!!

  2. Jill

    Hope all goes well tomorrow, Cheryl.
    I will be thinking of you xxx

  3. Roisin

    Thoughts and prayers and more love than you can even imagine will accompany you on the next step of the journey. Tomorrow is yours. Love you Cheryl and miss not having seen you since our lovely weekend in Switzerland.

  4. erin baines

    That is a kick butt tat Cheryl. Strength and courage over the next few days – dedicating my practice to you again tomorrow in hopes the energy reaches you as you need it. Hugs, e

  5. Dickon

    We love you too!


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