Stepping out of my comfort zone & trusting the process

Since I was diagnosed with lymphoma in August, I’ve been striving to step out of my comfort zone a little bit more. This has taken shape in many forms, although trying to break old patterns and try new things are certainly reoccurring themes. For example, I’m getting better at setting boundaries (e.g. saying no to the things that aren’t serving me); I’m spending more time being and less time doing (and trying not to feel guilty about it); I’m trusting my gut and listening to my body more (e.g. when I’m tired I sleep); I’m enjoying the little things (e.g. appreciating the sound of leaves crunching under my feet); I’m trying to be more daring (e.g. getting naked in the forest); and I’m tapping into my creative side a bit more (e.g. I’ve made some pottery, done some drawings and paintings, written some poetry, and recently started taking guitar lessons).

Today I’m taking another step out of my comfort zone into the unknown. I’m attending a retreat in Ontario hosted by the organization Young Adult Cancer Canada (YACC) www.youngadultcancer.ca, where, for the next four days I’ll be spending time with a group of people I’ve never met exploring our realities with cancer (experiences, fears, etc.). This step feels like a big one, and I’m feeling slightly scared, vulnerable, and excited.

For some of you, I’m guessing that the fact I’m feeling trepidatious about this retreat may come as a surprise; I go to retreats with young people often. While this is true, at most of the retreats I attend I am the facilitator and not an active participant. As a facilitator I often hold space for people to share and am considered a “keeper of the process,” yet today I am relinquishing that role and becoming a participant, where I will be asked to be vulnerable and share my fears and edges about cancer, and where I must put my faith and trust in others to support me on my journey. I certainly feel a wee bit scared, and it’s time to take that step outside my comfort zone once again.

Deep down I know that this is what I need, and still I can’t help but feeling a wee bit scared and vulnerable. I also know I’m on the brink of something great. Here I go!4682a24a0104e5a38ead7e2f9ef490fa

 

 

5 Comments

  1. Mitch

    I am really glad you took that step and we were able to meet. You brought so much laughter and joy this weekend!

    Reply
  2. Alice Kansiime

    Dearest Cheryl,no journey has ever been easy.Its just a choice that regardless of the hurdles that come,there is always hope at the end of the tunnel.Make a choice to enjoy each moment of your life.Never blame yourself for things you cannot change.

    No matter what,we shall always love you,cherish you and treausure the times we shared.Big love Alice.

    Reply
    1. Cheryl (Post author)

      Alice, dear Alice, thank you for your kind words and your heart! XO

      Reply
  3. Natasha

    Dear Cheryl,

    Appreciate so much your honesty and sharing pieces of your journey with us… It is easy to teach about trusting process but another thing to actually live by it. I can totally relate! I love your idea of going out of our comfort zone… that is where the biggest stuff can open up and we do tend to get stuck in our ways for sure.

    And also happy child day… for a great model and contributor to children’s rights.

    if you decide to make your way to Montreal for a visit with Vanessa and me as you are close by let us know.

    Hugs from all of us… Noeli does not know what to say but she has been following your blog.

    Upwards and onwards with many zig zags along the way! N

    Reply
    1. Cheryl (Post author)

      Thanks Natasha! Big hugs to you as well. I would love to visit you and Vanessa sometime soon. XO

      Reply

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